


Ambition

by Lyss2011



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, F/M, Marriage of Convenience, aromantic!Arthur, asexual!arthur, could be read as aromantic!Gwen, qpr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyss2011/pseuds/Lyss2011
Summary: It's Gwen's ambition to rule someday, and it's Arthur's ambition to be normal.written for this prompt:x.





	Ambition

From as far back as Arthur could remember, he’d always known that everyone wanted something from him. As a child, other children played with him because he was the prince and something of a prized possession.

“I played with Prince Arthur today and made him laugh,” he heard one boy proclaim to another. “Maybe tomorrow he’ll finally take me out riding on the royal horses.”

Later, it was “I’m guaranteed to be a knight now. Prince Arthur and I are close friends, he’s bound to knight me as soon as we’re old enough.”

Sometimes he didn’t mind providing what someone wanted from him. His father wanted him to be a great king when he was ready, and Arthur was willing to put in the effort to please him and the kingdom. When Morgana came to live with them, she wanted someone to be her family. Arthur was happy to provide that, as well as he could. He teased her and fought her and she gave as good as she got, quickly becoming a close friend—possibly Arthur’s first. They also made faces at each other when one noble or another would make comments suggesting they marry. 

By the time Arthur was knighted, he only had one good friend in the knights, Sir Leon, and Morgana had her maid, Gwen. Leon and Gwen didn’t seem to care about their friends’ royal statuses, and all they wanted from them (as far as Arthur could see) was friendship. Arthur was happy Morgana had continued to make the same disgusted face every time someone mentioned a marriage between them, and feared there would come a time she would blush instead. 

Because as horrible as being used to advance a career was, the people who wanted marriage or a tryst were by far the worst. Arthur had tired of it almost immediately. He thought he would’ve tired of it even if he was normal, but he’d always been abnormal in that respect. He’d never—wanted anyone. He’d never even thought of it until the subject came up on patrol when he was fourteen. 

“What about you, sire? Any maids you fancy?” 

“Or stableboys!” another had added with a laugh. 

“Neither,” he’d replied with as much finality as he could, but it wasn’t enough. 

“Oh, come on, there must be someone!”

So Arthur had made something up. “Clarisse.” She always seemed to be flirting, so it seemed as good an answer as any. 

Clarisse’s name was whispered and hissed around the camp that night, and Arthur had wondered if he’d made the correct choice. 

He found out when they arrived back at the castle and Clarisse tried to climb into his bed in her nightclothes.

After that, it seemed as if a floodgate had opened, never mind that his voice had yet to drop and he wouldn't be able to marry for several years yet. Noble ladies flirted openly during feasts and council sessions, trailing fingers down his arm or across the back of his neck in a way that made his skin itch terribly. Princesses he’d never even heard of were brought in for his inspection, never mind the fact that he had insisted he would wait to marry for love, whenever he found it. Were it not for the laws of Camelot stating the need for a queen, he would have declared himself perpetually single then and there. His father would have laughed at him. 

Even some of the chambermaids attempted to seduce him in the hallways or while they were cleaning out the fireplace, and the occasional stableboy would approach him while he was feeding and brushing his horse. 

It was almost a relief when he got Merlin as a manservant. Merlin was too innocent and Arthur kept him too busy to proposition him. His presence also meant Arthur could avoid being accosted by other servants in what should have been his safe havens. 

In a matter of months, though, Merlin was under the impression that Arthur had feelings for Gwen. He’d still never had feelings for anybody, but at least Gwen wasn’t likely to climb into his bed or make her attentions obvious to the court, so he let it slide. When Merlin wanted him to woo Gwen, he made his manservant do all the work. He wouldn’t know what to write anyway. Gwen was pretty, but he had no real opinion about her as anything more than a friend and confidante to Morgana.

*  
Gwen had learned from an early age that kindness could be powerful. Her mother had always had a kind word for everyone and when half of her home had burnt down just after her mother’s death, it seemed that all the citadel came to help out. 

“Your mother always had a kind word and helpful advice for my daughter, and now she’s up at the castle sleeping warm and always with a full belly,” one woman had told her.

“Your wife helped us out more times’n I can count,” she’d heard one man tell her father. “I’m just returnin’ the favor.”

She decided that day that she would honor her mother and always be kind. As Gwen grew older, however, she found her strong opinions clashed with her efforts to always be kind. It was impossible to tell Leon that his patchy beard looked terrible while being kind to him. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was much better, it was an awkward time where they tried to look their best and, in retrospect, failed utterly. In the end, she had settled for, “It’s very—I mean, it’s growing in well. Very curly!”

At fifteen she became a maidservant to the Lady Morgana and her eyes were opened to other qualities she wished to possess. Morgana was strong-willed and independent, she could fight as well with a sword as she could with words, and best of all she had the power to help the people of Camelot. 

It was unreasonable for Gwen to hope that she would one day be in a position of power to help her people, so devoted her efforts toward being known as a strong and kind woman. Even so, she fumed inwardly at the incompetence of the king’s courtiers. If she had that kind of power and influence she would be doing everything she could to care for her people. 

Gwen arrived home one day to a note and a small bundle of beautiful wildflowers on her kitchen table. She opened the letter with trepidation and read: 

_The barriers that keep us apart are nothing compared to the power of true love.  
—Arthur_

Gwen felt it prudent to respond to Arthur’s note. She didn’t want to lead him to think she was looking for romance. Unfortunately the conversation didn’t go quite as she’d planned.

“Guinevere. What can I do for you?” Arthur looked a bit nervous, but she supposed it was only right when he had laid his feelings bare with no idea if she returned them. 

“I…received your note.” She really wasn’t sure of the best way to go about rejecting the crown prince.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I, er, Arthur. You know this cannot be, between us.” If she hadn’t been looking at him so closely for his reaction, she wouldn’t have noticed the way his shoulders dropped slightly at her statement. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” he said, leading her out of the room with a gentle hand on her back. “Thank you for stopping by.” 

“Arthur—”

“Goodbye Guinevere,” he said pleasantly, closing the door in her face.

“Why did you write that note?” she demanded, letting herself back in the room less than a minute later. 

“I didn’t.”

“Oh.” She was wrongfooted again and had no idea where to go from there. “Er, do you know who did?”

“Merlin. He believes that I am in love with you.”

“But…you’re not,” she checked, walking further into the room.

“No.”

“Then why did you allow him to write, and I presume deliver, the note?”

“I—” Arthur looked truly uncomfortable for the first time in this strange conversation, staring down at his nervously shifting feet. “I’ve never felt…anything…for anyone. I don’t think I can. No one must know,” he added, head jolting up and eyes wide. 

“I don’t understand.”

Arthur was quiet for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “Women are beautiful,” he started, “and I can appreciate them for what they are, but they’ll never be as beautiful to me as Camelot. I enjoy the sight of deer running in the woods or, or, or the sight of mountains in the distance much more than any plunging necklines, or men’s tight trousers for that matter. I’ve never even felt as if I could fall in love. No one has given me the same feeling of love and joy as looking out over the kingdom does.”

“What about a political marriage? Why not marry a princess from another kingdom? Surely no one would expect you to love her, surely they would understand under those circumstances...”

“I don’t want to forge an alliance through marriage. My parents’ marriage…my uncle Tristan was upset at the death of his sister and turned against my father, despite their agreement. You are a part of Camelot, and know what the people need.” He turned to look out the window and murmured, “You would be a fine queen, if you wished it.”

Gwen took a week to mull over Arthur’s proposition. He had emphasized the fact that he would not have sex with her, nor was she to have sex with another man to avoid problems of succession if she were to become pregnant. He would love her as a dear friend or sister, but not in the way another man could love her if she were to marry someone else. 

The thought of having the power to help her people was tantalizing though. She felt she could live without romance if she were able to make the changes she wished to see in the kingdom. And it wouldn’t be as if she was living without love: she would be surrounded by her good friends.

*

“Remember when Gwen had to convince you that I had magic?” Merlin asked several years later as the King, Queen, and Court Sorcerer sat around the fire in the King’s rooms late one night. 

“Oh gods, don’t remind me.” It wasn’t as if Arthur had ever forgotten, though. One morning Gwen had casually mentioned Merlin as a candidate for Court Sorcerer as they discussed the new magic laws, and Arthur had laughed. 

“Merlin doesn’t have magic,” he’d proclaimed, to his wife’s utter shock. She’d called for Merlin and then demanded he perform magic in front of Arthur to prove it. Poor Merlin had been shaking in fear but had lit every candle in the room with a flash of his eyes. 

“You never told me!” he’d yelled at Gwen. “You’re my wife, you’re supposed to tell me everything!” 

“I thought you knew!” she’d yelled back. 

“Why would I suddenly suspect that my manservant had magic?”

“Maybe because he’s been saving your life for years? I thought that’s why you were changing the laws!”

Gwen giggled into her mulled wine. “Honestly, Arthur, you’re lucky you married me. It may have taken you decades to realize it otherwise.”

“I am lucky,” Arthur replied seriously. “Not everyone would have made the sacrifices you did for the good of Camelot, and even less would stand up to their king when he was being a clotpole.”

"It was no sacrifice," Gwen said, pressing his hand affectionately. "I have been very happy to be your queen, with all that it entails."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not very happy with this ending so if you have suggestions tell me!!
> 
> As always, kudos comments and criticism are welcome! <3


End file.
